“I’m an introvert and I’ve never been to any social thing since school by my own, so this is kinda my first step to calm down my social anxiety and get to know amazing people around me.”
POCKET DIARY BOOK CLUB
MINUTES OF THE MEETING
YEAR 2022
18/12/2022 3:56 PM
“What do you expect from Pocket Diary Book Club?
I’m an introvert and I’ve never been to any social thing since school by my own so this is kinda
my first step to calm down my social anxiety and to get to know amazing people around me.
From the club i would expect a good, calm environment and some amazing books.”
– Monica was reading from her phone.
I was just happy that she came, credit: Nirali.
From the inception of this book club, a lot of girls have filled up forms, and with beautiful
answers but they backtrack from actually attending the gathering.
When I first came to Ahmedabad, I was an excited 17 point something, all set for wonderful
things to happen to me. Then I became what I really was, an introvert. And my parents would
worry about any new thing I attended alone. “Who are you going with ?” … “10 pm return is
too late for a classmate’s birthday party supervised by her parents” … Never discussing boys,
or any topic that a teen is seen discussing in English cinema with her parents.
From just an introvert, I began growing up a recluse. The fear of bad experiences kept me
from really doing things that may have made me happy.
This book club reminded me of those days. I wish someone had just pulled me out and put
me in a book club or a safe space where people met and were just nice to each other, having
some form of popular art (books, movies) to talk about.
I am feeling nervous, sitting 1 seat away from her. She should have a good experience. We
are her first!
So, I ordered t ea. It always breaks the ice, while people are still coming and a new round of
hello, small talk and silence ensues every few minutes.
…
Reader: Ankit (The Fountainhead) & Jay (Atlas Shrugged)
In a group of 15 people, we had a few writers who are famous, loved and hated. Ayn Rand is
one of them, she had love and support from her readers here.
One of the answers in registration form question, “What do you expect from Pocket Diary
Book Club?” said: “ I expect the club to ho ld high regards for scientific temper and the club
promotes scientific temper as a skill.”
Doing what this response justly expects, I wrote on google, Ayn Rand critique. Found a few
interesting links:
• https://popula.com/2019/10/11/the-failures-of-ayn-rand/
(“…Stalin was probably about the greatest Objectivist who ever lived…”)
• I also found out a comic conspiracy theory (maybe, I am not a fact checker):
https://www.salon.com/2016/12/14/fountainhead-of-bad-ideas-ayn-rands-fanboys-
take-the-reins-of-power/
• A complicated, layered article which I am still reading but adding here after not
wanting to : https://www.rotman.uwo.ca/the-system-that-wasnt-there-ayn-rands-
failed-philosophy-and-why-it-matters/
It reminded me of Mary Curie story from childhood, (chose not to patent radium or any of its
medical applications) and Byju’s threatening the parents, Facebook’s trespass on privacy, and
MyGate lying about not tracking and refusing to delete visitor data…
• Another piece contained some good real-life anecdotes by Denis Cummins.
We who feel that creativity must be kept alive, agree with her here – “… productive
achievement as his noblest activity…” because this is what keeps the feeling of individuality
alive.
I choose individual freedom and fundamental rights but with reasonable restrictions. My
happiness cannot allow me to murder, unless I am a fiction writer.
Also, English was her second language, probably the suitable reason behind her writing style.
It is important to understand the time period and the political economic climate in which her
first book was written.
She was angry and afraid that the US would walk on the path of communism, and would be
left in tatters of blood and destruction like Russia, her home country, as she had witnessed.
Found a book My Years with Ayn Rand:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1979.My_Years_with_Ayn_Rand by Nathaniel
Branden (“Atlas Shrugged” was dedicated to Branden and he became her intellectual heir).
…
Philosophy is not an abstract. It is as real as thoughts.
‘The point is, who will stop me?’
Imagine if that had been used as justification by gang rapists of the Nirbhaya case.
What does Happiness mean to you?
“…his highest moral purpose is the achievement of his own happiness […] that each man must
live as an end in himself, and follow his own rational self-interest…”
– Ayn Rand
“He who is overly attached to his family members, experiences fear and sorrow, for the root
of all grief is attachment. Thus, one should discard attachment to be happy.”
– Chanakya
त ूँ त ूँ करता त ूँ भया, मुझ मैं रही न हूँ।
वारी फ े री बलि गई, लित देख ौं लतत त ूँ ॥
– कबीर
“…Shower upon him every earthly blessing, drown him in a sea of happiness…give him
economic prosperity, such that he should have nothing else to do but sleep, eat cakes and
busy himself with the continuation of his species, and even then, out of sheer ingr atitude,
sheer spite, man would play you some nasty tric k…simply in order to prove to himself —as
though that were so necessary—that men still are men and not the keys of a piano…
…You will scream at me (that is, if you condescend to do so) that no one is t ouching my free
will, that all they are concerned with is that my will should of itself, of its own free will,
coincide with my own normal interests, with the laws of nature and arithmetic.
– Fyodor Dostoevsky (Notes from the Underground)
…
A lot of readers this time had some part of their life in Mumbai. And many wore blue.
A sweet man, well combed grey and white hair, specs safely hanging from his neck, wearing
a sky -blue half sleeved shirt . He had done his graduation from Mumbai. With the most
insightful things to say, Yogesh read from Page 74 of “There Are No Secrets” by Peter Brook
(club library).
Everybody had a serious expression. I wondered; what magic does
this book have? It comes to the table every time.
I asked Sandeep, “Why did you gift this book?” He said, “Our style of
teaching and practising simplicity in our professions are similar.”
“He started with decorations. Othello on TV, slowly created bare
minimum artistic creations… sh owing less, meaning more… the
norm in India, Ahmedabad right now is creating spectacle.”
Tarun told us about Robin Das, training under Peter Brook, snapping
his fingers to ‘break the silence’, and The Empty Space in Mumbai.
गिल्लू
Mahadevi Verma came with Mitesh. And she brought a squirrel to the book club. He loves
cashews. And is a picky eater.
“मेरे कमरे से बाहर िाने पर लगल्ल भी खखड़की की खुिी िािी की राह बाहर चिा िाता और लदन भर
लगिहररय ौं के झुौंड का नेता बना हर डाि पर उछिता-क दता रहता और ठीक चार बिे वह खखड़की से
भीतर आकर अपने झ िे में झ िने िगता. मुझे च ौंकाने की इच्छा उसमें न िाने कब और क ै से उत्पन्न ह गई
थी. कभी फ िदान के फ ि ौं में लछप िाता, कभी परदे की चुन्नट में और कभी स निुही की पलिय ौं में.
मेरे पास बहुत से पशु-पक्षी हैं और उनका मुझसे िगाव भी कम नहीौं है, परौंतु उनमें से लकसी क मेरे साथ
मेरी थािी में खाने की लहम्मत हुई है, ऐसा मुझे स्मरण नहीौं आता. लगल्ल इनमें अपवाद था. मैं िैसे ही खाने
के कमरे में पहुौंचती, वह खखड़की से लनकिकर आौंगन की दीवार , बरामदा पार करक े मेज़ पर पहुौंच िाता
और मेरी थािी में बैठ िाना चाहता. बड़ी कलठनाई से मैंने उसे थािी के पास बैठना लसखाया िहाौं बैठकर
वह मेरी थािी में से एक-एक चावि उठाकर बड़ी सफाई से खाता रहता . काि उसका लिय खाद्य था और
कई लदन काि न लमिने पर वह अन्य खाने की चीिें या त िेना बौंद कर देता या झ िे से नीचे फ ें क देता था.
उसी बीच मुझे म टर दुर्घटना में आहत ह कर क ु छ लदन अस्पताि में रहना पड़ा. उन लदन ौं िब मेरे कमरे
का दरवाज़ा ख िा िाता लगल्ल अपने झ िे से उतरकर द ड़ता और लफर लकसी द सरे क देखकर उसी तेज़ी
से अपने र् ौंसिे में िा बैठता. सब उसे काि दे आते, परौंतु अस्पताि से ि टकर िब मैंने उसक े झ िे की
सफाई की त उसमें काि भरे लमिे, लिनसे ज्ञात ह ता था लक वह उन लदन ौं अपना लिय खाद्य लकतना कम
खाता रहा . मेरी अस्वस्थता में वह तलकए पर लसरहाने बैठकर अपने नन्हे-नन्हे पौंि ौं से मेरे लसर और बाि ौं
क इतने ह िे-ह िे सहिाता रहता लक उसका हटना एक पररचाररका के हटने के समान िगता.”
…
Sandeep read Macbeth. He also drew these pencil sketches.
He gave a summary in Hindi. Thank You.
Readers often forget that not all of us understand fast English or catch every word.
“Lady Macbeth trying to wash the blood from her hands … Here’s the smell of blood still. All
the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.”
Sandeep let the silence after his reading be. Everyone was basking in it…
He regards Akira Kurosawa, the director of Throne of Blood (Japanese film) as one of the
finest directors. The movie is based on Macbeth.
…
Dangers of reading
It’s real. Let’s talk about it.
Around 3 in the night, Rajesh woke up, got ready and picked up random titles from his shelf,
as he left for work. He reached on location duty and to pass the time he opened a book,
‘तुम्हारी पीठ पर गिखा मेरा नाम’.
Awe…what a romantic title. A collection of short love stories.
The hero in his old age often thought about her, ‘was he her first love or last?’
Rajesh was reading, “लफर क ई आौंधी आई, क ई श र उठा। एक बवौंडर आया और …”
“Sir क्या कर रहे ह !” his colleague shouted and kept running. Rajesh looked up, threw away
the book and ran pell-mell after the suspect. The suspect was ahead in the race.
…
Nirali wore red and white stripped socks with a white shirt, cuffs folded, over all a girl boss
with a sore throat. She has a daughter on the other hand, waiting for her, as she balances her
dreams on one hand.
Reena read ‘My sister’s Keeper’. I read ‘The storied life of A.J. Fikry’, he is a bookstore owner
on Alice Island.
Jainal read Tuesdays with Morrie
Tuesdays with Morrie, a forgotten sweet dish, melts in your mout h and makes you really
happy, Jainal got it for us in a small tiffin.
“My friends, I assume you are all here for the Social Psychology class. I have been teaching
this course for twenty years, and this is the first time I can say there is a risk in taking it,
because I have a fatal illness. I may not live to finish the semester.
“If you feel this is a problem, I understand if you wish to drop the course.”
After reading Dreams with Uvais, his first fiction read, I realised how we scoff in public, add a
disclaimer, at the first fiction novel we read in teenage.
How pathetically self-critical are we!
We can read what makes us happy without judging ourselves.
As I am finishing writing this, I wrote “Book Club” on Youtube and found 4 women, age 40
and above, in a movie world, discussing Christian Grey.
If you are a woman, when you have an ache, this movie is your comfort cushion.
If you are a man… well, I am signing off.